60th Anniversary Marriage Tips, Bladder Infection and Kidney Stone Prevention, Eric's Nutrition Tips

Happy Fall! I just got back to Indy after my parents 60th wedding anniversary celebration with our whole family at their home in Fort Wayne. It was a wonderful celebration at the Fall Festival at Solomon Farms and then a family dinner that evening (I am including some pictures I took with my camera). In this blog I am writing my prayer for my parents (and I pray it for all your families too!), bladder and kidney stone prevention, Eric’s nutrition tips, and my parent’s tips for a wonderful successful marriage.

Dr. Lisa’s prayer (for my parents and you)

We so love you God and are so thankful for Jesus, and for you always being right here with us. We thank you for your greatest commandment of LOVE, as Jesus says in Matthew 22, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, love you neighbor as yourself.”
We thank you that Mom and Dad have followed this commend with each other and our family and our community. We pray that all of us will let Your and Mom and Dad’s great love fill our hearts and lives and our families through all our ensuing generations. We pray for unity with You and us and our families. Please keep all evil away, and for us to go forth as Mom and Dad in LOVE, as written in 1Corintihians 13 and seen in their marriage…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking. Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails…”
We know Mom and Dad’s love like Yours is eternal, and pray for many more healthy wonderful years for them on earth!
With all my eternal love and thanks, Lisa

Bladder Infection and Kidney Stone Prevention

Bladder infections and kidney stones can happen at any age and in men and women. Bladder infections (or also called urinary tract infections) are most common in sexually active women, and both men and women above age 60 (with decreasing skin tone and prostate enlargement). We need to teach our children to drink plenty of water, and over age 10 we need to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day – preferably 130 ounces (one gallon). This is best to be water, and can include some tea. Soda is especially irritating to the urinary system, not good for your bones, and can add many calories and weight!

Once a person has a bladder infection, I talk about prevention. This starts with drinking over 64 ounces of water a day. Tips to accomplish this are drinking intentionally double or triple the amount of water you normally would when you take a drink (quickly downing 8-16 ounces with a drink), keeping a water bottle with you in your car and desk, and drinking a large bottle of water when you drive home from work. You also need to eat healthy (plenty of good veggies, fruit, and lean protein – the Mediterranean diet is best), exercise, and keep a healthy body weight. Sexually active women should eventually get up after intercourse to urinate and drink at least 4 ounces of water (this flushes out bacteria from the urethra). If a person gets recurrent bladder infections, I commonly recommend daily cranberry pills and sometimes an antibiotic after intercourse.

Nutrition
By Eric Walden

Nutrition is a complicated sometimes, so I’ll try not to make it more complicated. I want to go through some simple ways to help you cut back in the amount of calories you consume on a daily basis. I am a big fan of calorie counting. I feel that this is the best way to keep track of how many calories you consume on a daily basis. There are several ways to approach weight loss. This is the way that I prefer to council my clients.

I want to go through some simple ways to cut back calories. None of which counting is needed. The first one is SLOW DOWN! I know this is hard because of the type of lives we live. A go, go, go lifestyle makes slowing down hard. Even just taking a few more minutes to eat is important. I talk to so many people on a daily basis that never eat. Some of them don’t eat breakfast and others don’t eat lunch at all. I don’t get this, especially when they tell me “I want to lose weight”. You have to eat to lose weight. If you don’t eat your body stops processing the food that you do eat. Your body starts thinking it isn’t getting enough food to work. I am not going to waste what food I am getting so I’m going to store it as fat for energy later. Then people ask why am I not losing weight? Duh, you’re not eating! Daily nutrition is a must; you can’t just eat junk food and expect to lose weight. So the first simple advice to losing weight is to eat at least 3 meals a day. Ideally 5 to 6 meals, but we’ll get to that another time. A way to help you make sure you get breakfast is by getting some healthy breakfast bars. Ideally I would like for you to sit down and eat a nice well rounded breakfast, but just getting something in your system is a start.

Next is cutting out the second helping. I know this is so hard to do. Believe me I love the second helping. In my house my dad always got first dibs then I did. Being the male of the family it seems that it is a right of passage to get to finish off the rest of the food. Take a few minutes after eating that first helping to talk to your family or friends. Use this time to let your stomach send your brain the news that it is full. Now in the beginning your stomach will tell you that it still needs food. This is because you are use to eating more food. It will take you a couple of days for your stomach to adjust. It is amazingly quick how fast your stomach adjusts.

Here are a few things you can do when you are out to eat.
- Share the main course of food
- If you don’t want to do that ask for a “to go” box when they give you your food and put half the food into the box.
- Ask if they have a lunch menu. These portions are usually smaller than the main course meals.
- DON”T SUPERSIZE ANYTHING! Get the smaller portion. When asked what size ask for the smallest size.
- Look for the Weight Watchers symbol. This usually means it has less fat. I have found that the portion size is just as big as the regular, so don’t over eat.

The last thing I want to leave you with is the best exercise of all to combat over eating. It is called the push back. Push yourself away from the table and call it quits. I hope some of the info will help you be able to cut a few more calories.

Obviously there are a bunch of ways to combat weight loss through nutrition. I don’t diet unless I am training for a competition of some kind. I try to make sure that whatever food I am eating is healthy for me. My biggest problem is over eating. I can put the food away. So I have to make sure that I use the “push back” exercise a lot.

I hope these tips have helped. If you have more questions please feel free to email me or call me. You can call me at 765-404-7343 or by email at eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com

Family and Faith

Marriage Tip: from my parents, Don and Virginia Wolf – their tips told to me this weekend, after 60 years of a wonderful loving passionate fun marriage

Virginia: Don’t hold a grudge. Tell each other every day that, I love you! Remember that you will not always agree, and cool off if angry before talking again. You can not and should not win every argument, and it is not worth the upset. Do not take your life and marriage for granted – your spouse is a gift and treasure from God.

Don: Date constantly, and do not take each other for granted. Keep your marriage fun and warm and physical (hugs, cuddles, touch, and more) and laugh! Always strive to give more than you take – remember that it will be 75/25 both ways. Always respect each other.

Parenting Tip: for younger children

When children awaken in the middle of the night, you can have a pillow and blanket handy near your bed to let them sleep on the floor if they need to be closer to you. I never recommend having children sleep in their parent’s bed – it is not good for them or your marriage! If they routinely come into your bedroom, you can gradually move the pillow and blanket farther from your bed and then down the hall to their room.

If you continue after many efforts to have problems getting your toddler to poop in the toilet, I recommend trying glycerin pediatric suppositories. One of my children just would not poop in the toilet after a longtime of being urine trained. I finally told this child that if they did not poop in the toilet, they were choosing a suppository. It took just one suppository (and then only one more reminder), and then this child always chose the toilet and not the diaper!

Remember to talk with any age children about their “choices”, and that by their own choices, there can be good consequences and bad consequences… We all need to remember this!

With my hugs and prayers for you and your family!
Dr. Lisa

H Pylori, Fish Oil, Eric & Childhood Obesity, Power of Encouraging Words

I am so joyful and thankful to be writing to you, and want to help motivate and educate you to your very best health! Eric is writing about his passion – to decrease and end childhood obesity. I am writing about the stomach H. pylori infection, proven benefits of fish oil, the power of words in your marriage, and letting your children know you will always be there for them. The pictures above are from the Moto GP race this year. My husband loves anything at the IMS (Indianapolis Motor Speedway)!

My Rant (and Passion About Childhood Obesity Prevention)
By: Eric Walden

Happy Labor Day! I hope everyone had a good Labor Day. Lisa asked me to forego the exercise routine this week. Instead of an exercise routine she asked me to write about something I was passionate about. So hear we go: My Rant, well really just my passion.

Overweight/Obese Kids:

I know this may be a touchy subject for some parents, but I feel it is one that should be talked about. I know as a personal trainer I am asked all the time about nutrition. Rarely am I asked by a parent about nutrition for their children. Sometimes I feel that parents just think about their own nutrition and not their children’s, or parents are even scared to give their children healthy food. I even hear, “Well, I have tried giving them healthy food, but they won’t eat it, so I give them the junk food that they ask, scream, and beg for.” I have a 3 year old that loves sweets (what 3 year old doesn’t?). He begs all the time to get something sweet. Most of the time we say no, and occasionally we will say yes. But, and I repeat, but we give him a nutritious snack the majority of the time. Sometimes he balks at the idea of a healthy snack, but if he does he doesn’t get a snack. Don’t feel bad for not giving into your child’s wants, even if they throw themselves on the floor of your local grocery store. Let them do it. We, as other parents, know and understand, and we won’t think badly of you. Saying yes to a healthy snack is going to be a little tough if they aren’t use to it. It is like any behavior it takes time to get use to.
The main reason I chose this subject is because it breaks my heart to see children so overweight or obese at a young age. It is because the parent hasn’t taken time to provide the right care for their child. Again, I know I’m stepping on toes. I may even be stomping on toes, but something has to change. You are slowly killing your child.

The following is an excerpt from the CDC.
Obesity is a serious health concern for children and adolescents. Data from NHANES surveys (1976–1980 and 2003–2006) show that the prevalence of obesity has increased: for children aged 2–5 years, prevalence increased from 5.0% to 12.4%; for those aged 6–11 years, prevalence increased from 6.5% to 17.0%; and for those aged 12–19 years, prevalence increased from 5.0% to 17.6%.1, 46
Obese children and adolescents are at risk for health problems during their youth and as adults. For example, during their youth, obese children and adolescents are more likely to have risk factors associated with cardiovascular disease (such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes) than are other children and adolescents.2
Obese children and adolescents are more likely to become obese as adults.3, 4 For example, one study found that approximately 80% of children who were overweight at aged 10–15 years were obese adults at age 25 years.3 Another study found that 25% of obese adults were overweight as children.5 The latter study also found that if overweight begins before 8 years of age, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.

Did you catch the first paragraph? The statistics DOUBLED! I know there are tons of excuses to be had on why a child is overweight or obese. But killing your child is what is happening. Cardiovascular disease is the number one killer of all Americans, and the age at which it is being developed is going down. Childhood Diabetes is on the rise. Another way to put it is the fact that your child is overweight/obese means you will pay more for health care.
If your child isn’t use to eating healthy, don’t try to change over in one night. Not too many people can do a switch cold turkey; take it slow. Change up the pasta you use to whole grain or ground turkey from ground beef. These little changes may or may not be noticed, but it is a start. Another suggestion is once dinner is over, get everyone out of the house and take the family for a walk. This next month will be perfect for walks in the evening. It is a little cool therefore the walk won’t be hot. Again, there may be some complaining and grumbling, but bare through it. Once it happens consistently the grumbling will become less.

I’m not going to go into this too much. I just wanted to let people know where I stand. I think as parents we can do a lot better on caring for our children. We also need to educate ourselves so we can teach our kids to make better choices.
The following is the link to the CDC where I pulled the excerpt. I encourage you to read through this article and do some research of the effects of being overweight and obese as a child.
http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/childhood/index.html

I know I have stepped on toes today with this article, but I really hope it opens someone’s eyes to how serious of problem childhood obesity is and how it will affect the life of the child until something changes. As our current president says, “Yes we can…Change”. Please take this to heart and look for ways to change your lifestyle to a healthier one.
If you have questions please feel free to contact me through email or phone. My email is eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com and 765-404-7343.

Helicobacter Pylori Infection and Treatment
Helicobacter pylori (also known as H. pylori) is a bacteria found in the stomach and can cause many digestive problems and ulcers, and much less commonly stomach cancer. It is present in ½ of the world population, and the vast majority have no symptoms and never will develop problems. We do not yet know why some people with H. pylori get digestive problems and others do not. It is spread most commomly by consuming food or water contaminated with fecal matter, and then can cause changes to the stomach and upper intestine.

H. pylori needs to be thought of as a cause for especially upper digestive problems which do not quickly resolve. The most common symptoms are pain or discomfort (usually upper abdomen), bloating, feeling full after eating a small amount, lack of appetite, nausea, vomiting, dark or tar-colored stool (from bleeding), and low blood count and fatigue (from ulcers that bleed).

Diagnosis of H. pylori can be through blood, breath, stool, and upper endoscopy. Treatment involves taking several medications for 10-14 days (two antibiotics and one acid lowering medicine). Even though the 3 medicines together can cause side effects like nausea, t is important to finish all the medicine to ensure the bacteria is killed. Usually a follow up breath test is done to ensure the bacteria is gone, and some people need a second course of medicine.

Fish and Fish Oil Supplements Work – Remember your daily fish oil and Vitamin D!!!
Recent studies show eating several servings of oily fish (especially salmon) or taking daily fish oil pills reduce the risk of death or major heart problems in people at risk by 7 – 30%. A recent epidemiological study on healthy people showed that those who ate one fish meal/week lowered their heart disease risk by 15% and those who ate 5 servings of fish/week lowered their risk by 40%. The American Heart Association (AHA) recommends healthy people should eat oily fish at least twice a week, and people with existing heart disease take a daily fish oil supplement (500-1000mg/day of DHA and EPA). Flaxseed oil is not as beneficial because it contains alpha-lineolic acid, which is converted into DHA and EPA in only small amounts.

Vitamin E is no longer recommended as an extra supplement for cardiovascular protection. It can be beneficial especially in some women for breast pain and also can help some women with their hot flashes.

General Tips:
Jennifer, wife and mother of two, orders weekly fresh organic vegetables at reasonable prices delivered to her home from http://www.farmfreshdelivery.com/!

Family and Faith

Marriage Tip (from “Red-Hot Monogamy, Making Your Marriage Sizzle”) - Power of Encouraging Words
Remember the great healing, loving, and sizzling power of encouraging words. I learned from my father that if you think something nice, be certain to say it! This is especially important with your spouse. So when you think of something nice or tender toward your spouse, say it or say something! God can help it to come out well and be powerfully received!

The authors of this book, Bill and Pam Farrel, found out the power of encouraging words on their honeymoon. Pam was looking in the mirror after showering and started to criticize her body. This so bothered Bill that he prayed, “God, I could do a better job than that mirror!” He then wrapped his arms around Pam and looked straight into Pam’s eyes saying, “I will be your mirror. My eyes will reflect your beauty. You are beautiful, Pamela. You are perfect, and if you ever doubt it, come stand before me. If I have to throw away every mirror in the house to get you to believe me, I will! From now on, let me be your mirror.” … Pam adds that a man does himself a favor by loving his wife and being her mirror, because she will want to love him the way he desires to be loved. This is also very true for a wife respecting and being a mirror for her husband!

Chorus from the song “I Will Be Your Mirror”
I will be your mirror
Reflecting the beauty of your face
You are lovely and gentle
A picture of God’s amazing grace
I will see in you what you can’t see in yourself
And I will tell you again and again
I will be your mirror

Parenting Tip (from “For Parents Only”)
Tell and show in actions to your children “I will always be there for you.”

Our children need the security of knowing we are making the effort to understand them and will be there for them regardless of their mistakes, otherwise they will emotionally shut out a parent.

Take the time to focus on them, show you want to know and understand them, and spend time in their world (put aside other “urgent” things to say to them “Honey, YOU are my most important place to be”, ask them what makes you seem available or unavailable, you could text them once a week that you care, love, and am proud of them, etc.)

We as parents need to be vulnerable and admit our mistakes, and say “please forgive me, only God is the perfect parent”

Be calm and work with your words and actions to show that you will always be there for them, love, be their backup, support, desire the best for them regardless of their mistakes. They may have gone against your values, forgotten how valuable they and their bodies are to God, and have consequences, but let them know that God forgives us, so how can we not forgive them!

Have a terrific September, and I will write next after my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary celebration on the 26th! I pray for us and our families and generations for our God to protect us from everything else but do not protect us from God and His powerful work and blessings!
Dr. Lisa

I hope back to school and late Summer are going very well for you! Christina, age 20, is in her junior year at IUPUI, Nathan, age 19, a freshman at Purdue, Brendan, age 14, a freshman at Zionsville High School and playing on the freshman football team, and Annika,age 8, in 3rd grade and playing travel soccer. We had a setback with Brendan fracturing a bone (3rd metacarpal) in his right hand at football practice last Thursday. With all our and our bible study’s prayers and God’s grace, we are very blessed that he does not need a cast, and may well be back to full practice and games in one month!

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your hear.” Psalm 37:4
I went to Beth Moore’s terrific Living Proof Live simulcast at my church this weekend. Her seminar was based upon this verse in Psalm 37, and I will review it later in this blog and give you her recipe she shared with us at the conference - Beth’s Texas Sheet Cake (a chocolate desire of our heart!). I will also update Flu info, Eric has great exercise tips for the chest, and my husband, Bruce, is a guest blogger for a marriage tip learned from our experience last Friday!

Influenza
The government and CDC continue their work to develop our plan to fight influenza and H1N1 influenza. They recommend giving the regular flu vaccine as soon as available (usually late September/early October). Then once the H1N1 vaccine is available, it will consist of 2 vaccinations, one month apart.

The CDC recommends persons born after 1957 get the vaccine. The most important to immunize are pregnant women, household contacts and caregivers of children younger than 6 months of age, healthcare and emergency personnel who have direct contact with patients, children age six month to 4 years, children and adolescents aged 5 – 18 years who have medical conditions that put tem at high risk.

Symptoms of infection with H1N1 flu virus are similar to those of seasonal flu, including fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills, and fatigue, but with some H1N1 infections it also includes vomiting and diarrhea. The virus can be spread by coughing, sneezing or touching surfaces contaminated with the virus and touching your nose or mouth. You are considered contagious beginning 1 day before the symptoms appear, and at least 24 hours after your fever has resolved.

Most people with flu recover within 1 – 2 weeks without treatment. However, serious life-threatening complications can occur, such as pneumonia. If any of the following symptoms develop, call us immediately – shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, purple or blue discoloration of the lips, pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen, signs of dehydration (dizziness when standing, not passing urine, or in infants lack of tears or few wet diapers), confusion or less responsiveness than usual, seizures or convulsions, severe vomiting or unable to keep fluids down.
Please see more recommendations on influenza prevention in my April 30th blog.

The Chest
By
Eric Walden

The pectoral muscles are a very versatile muscle group. It can be worked through a pushing motion or a pulling motion. Now for most men they want a nice firm chest and most women well…I’ll be honest when it comes to their chest they just don’t want to be saggy. For women as far as saggy boobs there isn’t a lot we can do. Breast tissue is fat tissue so like I have said numerous times to lose fat you have to eat right and do cardio. With that said you can tighten up the muscles that are underneath the breast.
Let’s get started. I want to start with an oldie, but a goodie with a twist though.
Push-ups on an incline:
Everyone knows how to do a push-up. Start lying face down and put your hands slightly wider than your shoulders, keeping your abs tight push your self up. For the incline part use a chair to do the push-ups on while keeping your feet on the floor. MAKE SURE THE CHAIR IS SECURE! (All advice is given after a failure of some type) I advise putting it up against a wall. Gradually build yourself up from being able to do 3 sets of 12 repetitions on the floor to the incline. Those of you who are more experienced or stronger can go to the incline right away. To make this exercise harder you can use a Bosu ball or even place you feet up as well. When I was in college I would take three chairs and use them for my push-ups. One for each hand and one for my feet. By doing this it allowed me a greater range of motion. Anytime you can do an exercise through the full range of motion the muscle gets more work and will become stronger. Work yourself up to doing 3x12. When it comes to push-ups you can work yourself up to closer to 20 repetitions.

Chest Press:
This exercise is going to be done with an exercise band. With this exercise the band can be placed around something or attached to a door frame with the attachment. Standing with your back to the attachment take both hands in the straps. Using a split stance for balance press both hands forward. Make sure you are standing up nice and tall, keeping the abs contracted. When coming back to the start position keeps your hands over your elbows. Let your elbows stay wide. There are different color bands for a different resistance level. The way to tell is by squeezing them. If they are stiff and hard to squeeze that means that it has more resistance. Start with a light resistance at first because bands can be a little tricky. Because they bands has constant resistance you have to concentrate more because your arm will snap back if you aren’t paying attention. Start with 3 sets of 12 repetitions.


Chest Fly:
This exercise can be done with a band as well. This one can also be done standing or lying on your back on a bench. Start again with a split stance to keep your body stabilized. Start with both hands straight out in front of you. Slowly open your arms. Be careful to not keep your elbows locked out. Keeping them slightly bent puts more emphasis on the pec muscles and it doesn’t stress the elbow joint. Also don’t let your hands go beyond your shoulders. Meaning stop before your arms are straight out from your body. I like to stop just before my hands are equal to my chest. Again 3 sets of 12 repetitions.
These 3 exercises are a solid group of exercises that will help sculpt the chest muscles. They will help build strength as well. The 3 exercises can be done in a variety of ways. If you want to learn how to do the variations give me a call or email. I can be reached at 765-404-7343 or at eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com

Faith and Family

Beth Moore Living Proof Live 2009
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart… The Lord makes firm the steps of those who delight in Him. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord upholds them with His hand.” Psalm 37:4,11

This is a great scripture to memorize, and Beth started out her conference stressing, “Everybody must memorize scripture!” - to train your heart, hold your mind captive to the goodness of God, and be armed with the sword of the Spirit. She encourages us to write passages to memorize on 3x5 cards and keep with us. I often take them with me when I jog to work on memorization, and it is a great exercise for your brain and Alzheimer’s prevention!

Beth’s points on this part of Psalm 37…
Nothing dictates our lives like our desires (and we basically will do what we want) – be in God’s word and study to transform our desires.
Beneath the desires of our heart is the heart of our desires – what is underneath and we need to look for it, and a true hearts desire necessitates a wait.
Delighting in God adapts our desires and results are inevitable – Beth encourages us to be sensitive to all the wonder and awe of God in each day, and put all our desires and longings at His feet and let God take over our mind and feelings.
Nothing can steal our right to delight – and if something is taking a bite out of my personal delight, look at your JAW - check for Jealously (desire tinged with resentment), Anger (opposite of delight), and Worry (gnaws and disfigures our desires).
To make room for delight we need to commit – stop doubting and believe with our behavior.
Nothing is passive about patiently waiting for desire to turn into delight – don’t give up and let Satan take your hope away – remember we never learn anything while talking so hush and listen to God and others.
Till faith becomes sight, trust God and do good – reach out and help!

Beth’s Texas Sheet Cake – grease 9x13 pan, heat oven to 400
Sift: 2 c flour, 2c sugar
Bring to boil: 2 sticks butter, 1 c water, 4 tbsp cocoa
Pour over dry mixture and mix in: 2 eggs, ½ c buttermilk, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp vanilla
Bake for 20-25 minutes

Icing
Heat: 1 stick butter, 4 tbsp cocoa, 6 tbsp milk
Add anywhere from ½-1 box powdered sugar to achieve desired consistency (Beth usually uses about 1 box) and 1 c pecans. Spread on cake while hot.

Marriage Tip: by Bruce Miller

As men many (if not most) of us are just naturally wired to want to fix things. This is a helpful attribute if what is malfunctioning is the lawnmower or garbage disposal; however, this can really short circuit our relationships if we can’t resist this tendency when communicating with our wife or significant other.

I am no trained counselor and anyone that knows me would not accuse me of subscribing to the new age, “Men Are From Mars – Women Are From Venus” stuff. However, we experienced something this past Friday night I felt might be revealing and could possibly help some other couples that have occasionally found themselves in the same situation and sadly may have experienced a different outcome.

This past Friday evening Lisa returned from the first part of the Beth Moore Bible study conference and we began to talk about what she had learned. I should note this is often some weighty (but extremely valuable life changing information) so maybe not the best idea to start that conversation at 11:00 at night when we both started the day at 5:30- but that’s reality. Sometime during the conversation she mentioned being a little concerned about being able to finish all the tasks on her agenda over the weekend and she seemed troubled. The key word is - seemed because that is how it seemed to me!

I immediately began to dispense advice about how she might fix her problem confident that if she followed my sage advice all her time issues would be solved. Instead of the rousing thank you I was expecting for my wisdom I got a stoic response and no conversation at all. This is so out of character for Lisa that I was stunned and honestly a little angry.

Fortunately through what I can only attribute to divine intervention I collected myself before saying something really stupid and gently but persistently inquired: “What just happened?”

I have focused this primarily towards my fellow gentlemen and convicted myself accordingly, but women there is a significant contribution required from you right at this exact moment that can be the key ingredient to making this situation an epiphany for us men and changing your marriage. You need to rationally talk and explain to us and please don’t assume that “if we truly love you we would know what is bothering you…” because trust me most of the time us men don’t have a clue!

Then another miracle occurred when I actually shut up and listened to what Lisa shared with me. She simply told me I was trying to tell her how to fix all her problems but that she hadn’t asked for and didn’t need any advice to “fix” a problem because in her mind there wasn’t one! She was just sharing what was on her heart and trusting in God to arrange her time. She didn’t need a solution she just needed a few minutes of my time.

This is not revolutionary philosophy but it was an incredible opportunity to move our marriage to an even greater place of glory and it can be summed up in one word – COMMUNICATION.

Parenting Tip:
Play with sidewalk chalk with your grade school or younger children – draw a big circle to represent God’s circle of blessing and safety, and discuss/write/draw things that keep them in that circle, and what things take them away/outside that circle.

Remember to work to train your children from the heart (see my review of the book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” under Resources tab) – to obey you without challenge, without excuse, without delay. This can be done, and I with God’s and the book’s help, am starting to achieve this with my own children. It takes time and effort, but the results are great for us parents, but even more importantly for our children’s lives!

God bless you and your family and your family line!
Dr. Lisa

Eric's help for the "butt" problem, Iodine, Finishing Well, 5 Point Checklist

Greetings to All! I hope and pray you all are having a great August and getting children and family back or off to school! Annika had a great week at Christian camp Allendale (she cannot wait till next year's camp), and we moved our son Nathan into Purdue for freshman orientation week last weekend. We are working on our adjustment (all really miss him, especially his younger brother Brendan).

See Eric's great exercises for our "butt" area, new information on iodine, finishing well, and a checklist of 5 things for kids and us when we are making decisions.

To update everyone on the Flu vaccine - we should have our regular Flu vaccine in late September, and this year recommend getting it soon. We do not yet know when or where the H1N1 vaccine will be available. We will let you know here and on our website as soon as we know.

Iodine – Nutritional help for some with Obesity, Fatigue/Foggy thinking, PCOS, and Other Problems
I am doing more reading on nutrition and iodine, and discussing with hormone and nutritional specialists. I have found that similar to Vitamin D deficit, many people suffer an iodine deficit, especially in the Great Lakes region where soils have some of the lowest concentrations if iodine in the world.

All cells in the body need iodine for proper functioning, especially our glands which make our hormones. Iodine supplementation under a doctor’s supervision has significantly helped certain people with weight loss (especially those who really are exercising and eating a healthy low calorie diet but not losing weight, and often those with lower basal temperatures), fatigue and foggy thinking, fibrocystic breasts, polycystic ovaries (PCOS), certainly goiters, arthritis, and others. Often people or children who are in pools a lot can have iodine deficiency.

The only significant sources of iodine are in seafood and seaweed/kelp, and iodized salt has very little iodine. The average Japanese diet contains 12mg/day of iodine. Our iodine supplement contains 10mg/capsule of potassium iodide. Starting out a person may need more than one a day under our direction, but then most people eventually go to one a day. The cost nicely is just $16 for #120 capsules. Often after 4 to 6 months people are replenished and do not need the supplement all the time. I ask my patients to monitor and record 1 to 2 times a week their basal AM temperatures, and see me in follow up to discuss how they are doing in 2 months. We may well add a combination potassium iodide and iodine combination supplement because studies have shown certain people need both (is a little more expensive).

The best method to accurately assess iodine levels is with a 24 hour urine collection. This costs about $100 and usually not covered by insurance. I do an iodine spot test in our office for free, and it is a good screen. I apply a spot of liquid iodine best on a person’s abdomen and let it dry. Your skin has a supply of iodine, and if you are deficient then your skin will also be more deficient. The spot on people with enough iodine generally will last at least 12 and usually near 24 hours. If it lasts less than 12 hours, I feel adding iodine under my direction certainly has a good chance to help the person’s health.

One 30 year old patient of mine recently was unable to lose weight with very good exercise and diet. Her basal temps were always about 97 and she has PCOS. With iodine supplementation, her basal temps are 98.6 and she has lost 10 pounds in 2 months with the same exercise and diet. She also has much more energy!

Please let me know, if I do not bring it up first at your visit, if you want an iodine spot test and discuss the potential benefits and dose for you.
Dr. Lisa

Checking Your Vitamins and Supplements as well as Medicines at Your Physicals!
Please bring in a list of all your vitamins, supplements, and medicines you are taking at your physicals. You may well want to keep it on your computer so you can easily update and print off for us to best keep your electronic chart up to date. Please also include supplements and medicines you take occasionally or seasonally.

We always want to review your general health, weight, diet, supplements, medicines, exercise, and ongoing problems and new issues. We are very interested in any social or emotional changes and any problems with hormones or sexual health. We discuss age appropriate preventative medicine and tests. Dr. Miller often will check your zinc/vitamin status by a zinc taste test, and iodine status by an iodine spot screening test.

Family and Faith

“Finishing Strong” is a great sermon from August 9th that you can hear from Bob Russell on Trader’s Point website, http://www.tpcc.org/. Bob talks about staring well early (when you first enter the workforce to immediately give to God your first 10% to continue to be under God’s blessing, save 10%, and live on the rest), staying diligent, thanking God for each day, thinking eternally, working to be balanced, and finishing strong (don't mess up at the end like recently Rick Pitino and others). “Be joyful always, and give thanks in all (not just FOR) all circumstances” 1Thess 5:16. He says maturity can be defined as the ability to postpone pleasure, and encourages us to act in the wise way and how we wish we felt to train our hearts (not act or do only what we feel, because our feelings and desires and worldly messages often can lead us into sin). Bob encourages us to fear God, do our duty, be renewed day by day by our faithfulness, serve in our lives and retirement, and the best is yet to be!

Marriage Tip
Remember to pray together. It is a great intimacy and bonding time, and as it says in scripture more than doubles you prayer impact with God! Remember God cares about every little thing. Don’t make Him small, but remember He is so big and great and relational that He even cares that you have a good hair day!

Parenting Tip
Sending my son Nathan off to college I wrote in his new small bible I gave to him this 5 checklist of things to remember when presented with a problem or decision. It really works for all our ages, and you can demonstrate by counting off on your fingers! Remind our children and ourselves, that we have to work on and be vigilant about our character all our lives!

Is it wise?
Is it safe?
Is it healthy?
Would my parents approve?
Would God approve?...

With all my hugs and prayers,
Dr. Lisa

Problem Areas for Females: The Butt

By: Eric Walden

We’ll start with the butt. This is the area that most woman loath on their bodies. It’s too big or to flat or jiggles too much are just some of the complaints I’ve heard as a personal trainer. Well I’m here to tell you that YES you can do something about it. Now change does not happen over night so don’t expect immediate results. Now there are a couple of approaches depending on what your particular “problem” is. Let’s get started.

All of the exercises I’m going to talk about help with the different types of “problems”. The approach is going to be little different for each one. For the too “big” what the approach needs to be is a more high repetition based program. Shoot for 12-15 repetition of 3 sets. Keep the rest periods short between exercises. Take these exercises and try to set up a space to be able to do them with out interruption. I typically have my clients do a round then rest for 60 seconds getting water and rehydrating and repeating the exercises. The exercises are the going to be the same as the other areas. So I’ll go over the actually exercises towards the end.

The jiggle and flat butts can also be helped with a few strength exercises. The approach here is to do fewer repetitions. Shoot for 6-8 repetitions on each exercise. This approach can have more rest in between each exercise. Not a lot though. Stay under 90 seconds between each set or exercise. Now to the exercises.

First and one of my least fun exercises, but most effective exercise is the squat. Start by standing with feet slightly wider than shoulder width bending at the knees squat down pushing your hips back. If you have trouble with this particular exercise in the beginning that is okay. A way that I teach it is to grab an edge of a door way with one hand keeping your arm straight squat down keeping your arm straight the whole way down and back up. Now I must caution those of you with knee problems. Go easy in the beginning. Ideally the quadriceps are parallel to the ground at the bottom of the position. If you have knee problems don’t go down as far or another way is to use a chair. Slowly sit down to the chair then stand back up with out using your hands. Squats focus on the glutes, hamstrings, and quads. If you have never done squats make sure you start out with your body weight and slowly progress to adding weight in your hands.

The next exercise is the lunge. Start with a split stance one leg in front of the other. Exaggerate this step. Bend both knees. At the end point both knees should be at 90 degrees. Stand back up, you don’t have to move your feet for this exercise. Just keep dropping your hips straight down and bending your knees. This is effective for tightening up the glutes and the quads. Again be cautious if you have knee problems. A way to make this exercise easier is to hold onto the back of a chair or something stable that can hold your weight.

The third exercise is straight leg dead-lift. I know this exercise sounds bad. But it is a good one. I like this one a lot. It makes me most sore when I do it though. I like my feet apart on this exercise, but some trainers like to have the feet together. This comes down to preference. Next you are going to bend at the waist trying to touch your toes. There are two main focuses here. First keep your back straight at all times. Don’t let your spine pop up. To keep this from happening think of two things. Keeping a proud chest (popped out) and pulling the shoulders back. The second is when you stand up think of pulling at the hamstrings and not the low back. Most people will feel this in their low back to start, because they are not focusing on their hamstrings.

The last exercise is a kick back. Start by being on all fours. Keeping your knee bent push your foot to the ceiling. This will focus on the glute. Hold at the top for a 2 count. Make sure you aren’t using momentum to get your foot up. Bring your leg slowly back down, but do not touch your knee to the floor. This will keep the focus on the glute muscle. To make this lift more advanced you can use a band or place a small dumbbell in the bend of your knee.
Look at the pictures that correspond with the exercise to get a better idea of how to do the lifts. We started out by doing a full leg exercise with squats then we isolated the muscles a little more with each exercise. There are obviously more leg exercises that can be done but it is my experience that these are 4 of the best for dealing with the glutes.

If you have questions please feel free to email me or call me. My email is eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com and my number is 765-404-7343.

Low Back Exercises, Sleep Well

Welcome Back! I am continuing my motivation for your physical health with Eric Walden's suggestions to strengthen your core and back, and then my article to help you sleep well! Eric is demonstrating the back exercises in the pictures below.


Low Back Exercises:
By
Eric Walden

Continuing from last time, we are still talking about the core of your body. This time we will be discussing the low back. The exercises we are going to go over today can be done anywhere. I have been picking exercises that can be done anywhere to avoid the excuse of I don’t have a gym or the right equipment to do the exercises.
The low back is so important to the body. The low back houses the lumbar region of the spine. These muscles are so vital to every movement of the body. I have heard of people throwing their backs out picking up a pencil. I always joke to just leave the pencil on the floor. I actually have a neighbor that just threw out his back picking up a screw at work. I was in shock I have never actually met/known someone who hurt their back picking up something so small. I have actually trained this neighbor for a few sessions. He was unable to continue training due to the economy, but this was an area that he and I knew he needed to work on. It is unfortunate that he didn’t keep up with some of the basic exercises that I showed him. Because I know he could have avoided this incident with some of these basic exercises.


The first exercise is called the Superman. To perform this exercise lay flat on your stomach with arms out in front of you. There are different variations of the exercise that can be done. The first part we will do is just the upper body. Raise your trunk and arms off the ground as high as possible. Hold at the top for a solid 1 count. Slowly lower yourself back to the floor and repeat the action. In the beginning I have my clients do 2 sets of 12 working up to 3 sets of 20 repetitions.







The next exercise is kind of the same as the first only a variation of it. This time you will raise your right arm and left leg at the same time. Hold at the top for a 1 count and lower the arm and leg to the ground. Switch sides raising your left arm and right leg. This motion strengthens from the top of the back down to the bottom of the back. Use the same rep/set regiment as the previous exercise.








The last of the superman exercises is the full body superman. This exercise is combing the upper body and lower body. Again laying on the floor on your stomach you will raise your arms and trunk off the ground. While doing this, raise both legs at the same time. I tell my clients to think about balancing on your belly button. That is all that you want touching the ground. Hold at the top for a 1 count. This, in my opinion, is the hardest of the superman exercises.



The last exercise of the low back exercises is called pointer. Start on all fours. From here you are lifting your right arm up and your left leg up. Keep both the arm and leg as straight as possible. You will feel a squeeze in the small of your back if you are doing this right. It shouldn’t hurt when you do it. Return both arm and leg to the ground. To make it a more advanced exercise perform the repetitions without putting your arm and leg down or by adding hand weights. When bringing them back in just hover them over the ground then extend them back out. I will touch my hand to my knee to keep myself from wanting to put my hand or knee down. I usually do all my reps for one side first then I will do the other side. To make the exercise easier you can switch sides after every repetition. During this exercise keep your abs tight try not to let them be relaxed during this exercise.




These exercises are basic low back exercises. If you sit all day or are over weight you should be doing these exercises to help strengthen the low back. We definitely don’t want you throwing your back out picking up a pencil or a screw!
If you have questions please feel free to email me at eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com. Please do not hesitate to ask questions. If you want to learn more about me please visit my website at http://www.waldospersonaltraining.com/. Have a healthy day.


SLEEP WELL!


Tips to help you feel refreshed from your time between the sheets!

Breakfast or lunch the largest meal of the day

Many people sleep better when they have protein at breakfast and lunch, and a small light dinner. Digesting food takes energy and can diminish your quality of sleep.

Exercise regularly and walk to sleep

Exercise relieves stress, energizes and then relaxes you. Work to exercise ½-1 hour a day, and at least 2 hours before bed (so you avoid the first the first energizing effect right before bed). People who walk at least 6 blocks per day at a normal pace are 1/3 less likely to have trouble sleeping and those with quicker pace have even better sleeping habits. Walking has more effectiveness then sleeping medicine without medicine side effects.

Hydrate and drink like a fish!

Drink eight to ten eight ounce glasses of water a day and add four-six more glasses when you exercise. Even mild dehydration can lead to chronic fatigue. Don’t drink more than four ounces of water within an hour of bedtime and empty your bladder right before bed.

Eat healthy and cut back on sleep robbers

Eat lots of whole foods and cut out fast and processed foods. Do not intake caffeine, coffee, colas, chocolate, tea after 2pm. Do not drink alcohol within 3 hours of bedtime. One to two glasses of wine can make you drowsy, but will wake you up frequently at night.

Keep a sleep/wake cycle

Work to go to sleep and awake at about the same time each day, even the weekends.

Enjoy & move to the light

Get outside when it’s sunny and turn on the lights at home in the morning. This helps reset your awake/sleep cycle.

Free to nap

It is find to nap especially if you didn’t sleep well the night before. People who nap for 15 minutes feel more alert and less sleepy even after a bad nights sleep.

Go to sleep when you’re tired

If you can’t fall asleep within 15-20 minutes, try repeating a bible verse, prayer, or poetry. Then if you still cannot sleep, get up and leave your bedroom to read, sit, or think pleasant thoughts (dream vacation, hiking/outdoors, etc.). This can help calm you to be able to return to bed and sleep.


Move your television

Your bed and bedroom are for sleep and sex. No talking (especially about difficult issues or about schedules), no reading, no talking on the telephone, and no worrying.

Best nighttime posture

Your pillow should be low enough to support your head without flexing your neck, to avoid neck and shoulder aches. Orthopedic pillows with a scooped out hollow for your head help support your neck & help people with chronic neck problems.

Relieve low back pressure by putting a pillow under your knees to comfortably flex your lower spine.

Have enough blankets to stay warm, so you don’t have to unconsciously curl up to keep warm (which would leave you with a sore back).

Allow room to be able to move your arms and legs and roll over during the night. This naturally can help prevent your joints from getting stiff.

Try an herbal soother

Instead of sleeping pills, try the natural herb valerian root, which can improve your sleep quality without any grogginess. Take between150-300mg at bedtime. Allow about 2 weeks for valerian to build up in your system. Once effective, take a break occasionally to allow your sleep patterns to develop without sleeping aids. Our supplement “Natural ZZZs” is an excellent herbal sleeping aid with valerian root.

Relaxation Therapies

Autogenic Training – imagine a peaceful environment and comforting body sensations, such as warmth or heaviness in limbs, warmth in the upper abdomen, and coolness on the forehead

Biofeedback Training – visual or auditory feedback is provided to the person to control chosen physiologic parameters

Imagery Training – visualization technique with focus on pleasant or neutral images

Paced Respirations – take a deep breath and hold for 5 seconds, repeat several times; focus on the sound of the breath

Progressive Muscle Relaxation – tense and relax large muscle groups; usually begin with the feet and work your way up to the facial muscles

Repetitive Focus – repeat and focus on a prayer, phrase, word, sound, or muscle activity

Medicines

Non prescription – Melatonin, Tylenol PM, Unisom, Bendryl, and others

Prescription
-nonaddictive such as Ambien (available generic), Ambien CR (a little longer acting), Lunesta, Sonata, Rozerem
-controlled benzodiazepines for only occasional use – Restoril (available generic and longer acting), shorter acting Ativan or Xanax (both available generic)
-other medicines with sleepiness as a side effect – muscle relaxant Flexeril (available generic), older antidepressant in given in lower doses Deseryl (trazedone) and Elavil and Remeron (all available generic)
-often treating a person’s underlying anxiety problem/disorder will significantly help sleep – so many of the newer antidepressant/anti anxiety medicines can help (like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Efexor, Cymbalta, and others)

Special measures for shift changes

Use bright lights to mimic daytime to keep you awake. Try to stay on the same shift.
If you can’t sleep when you get home in the morning, don’t force it wait until early afternoon when you have an energy drop.

I look forward to writing to you again soon, and pray for all of you all God's blessings of health, safety, and to be filled to overflowing with all the fruit of His Spirit - love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control! Gal.5:22

Dr. Lisa

Abdominal Exercises, Shepherding A Child's Heart, Recipe of Month/Know Produce

I am happy to write in the middle of Summer, enjoying God's beautiful world and creations! This blog article will stress the importance of maintaining your core abdominal strength, review the great faith-based parenting book "Shepherding A Child's Heart", and healthy nutrition with a great fish recipe and knowing raspberries (written by Judy,a great and knowledgeable friend of my Mom). Enjoy the education, motivation, and all God's glory!

Abdominal Exercises
By
Eric Walden

Abdominal (Ab) exercise is one the most important exercises a person can do. The main reason they are so important is not to slim down belly fat, but to strengthen the core. You want to strengthen your core because the core is used for everything: standing, sitting, walking, and bending over. So many people hurt their backs so easily because the ab and low back muscles are not strong. We’ll cover low back exercises next time.
There are so many infomercials out there saying, “Use this product to get lean abs.” or, “Do this many repetitions to get a flat stomach.” Most of them are not true. The main way to get a flat stomach is to watch what you eat. Seventy-five percent of they way you look is what you put in your mouth. As I have said before, you can go the gym for 3 hours a day, busting your butt, but if you go home and eat terrible you just wasted 3 hours of your time. So eating is the most important part of your exercising routine.
When it comes to doing an ab routine there are a couple of different approaches that can be taken. You can incorporate abs into the entire routine or you can do them all at the end. A big question I get as a personal trainer is “Should I do abs every day or only once or twice a week?” It doesn’t matter which you do. When doing abs everyday, I typically won’t do as many repetitions as I would if I was only doing them once or twice a week. If I’m doing abs once or twice a week, I really pound them. I take about 30 minutes and just do different types of ab exercises.
When training my clients I typically will incorporate abs into our routine. Then at the end of the workout I’ll add some ab exercise to totally fatigue the ab muscles. Because the ab muscles are used for just about everything in life they can take a little more punishment than other muscles. I do not have a set routine that I use, but I do try to work all four of the different quadrants of the ab muscle. There are the uppers, lowers, and both sides. I make sure that my clients do the same number in each quadrant.
An example of this is doing 25 regular crunches, 25 leg raises, and oblique twists 25 on each right and left side.

Exercise Ball Crunch

Tips: Sit on top of an exercise ball with your feet placed firmly on the floor. Roll the bottom half of your glutes off the ball by sliding forward. Your lower back should be centered on top of the ball. Place your hands on the sides of your head, but don't use your hands to pull. Crunch your upper body forward and roll your shoulders towards your hips. Squeeze at the top! Then lower back to the starting position and repeat. You can hold a weight to increase the difficulty.





Oblique Twist


Sitting on the floor with your feet flat, slightly lean back. Keeping your abs tight, slowly twist from side to side, try touching the floor with your hands on each side.


















Bent-Knee Hip Raise


Tips: This is like the Reverse Crunch but with a longer range of motion. Outstretch your hands to your sides with your knees bent at a 60 degree angle and your feet just off the floor. Using your lower abs, roll your pelvis backward to raise your hips off of the floor. Your knees will be over your chest. Squeeze your abs and then return to the starting position slowly. You can straighten your legs to make it harder or wear ankle weights.




These are just a couple of exercise that work the ab muscle. I like having my clients do sets of 25. For beginners, try doing closer to 10 and working your way up to a larger number. I’ll have clients do 2-3 sets. When doing any new exercise make sure to take it slow and keep under control. Doing these four ab exercises will fatigue your ab muscles. Remember to take it easy the first time. You’ll feel it in the morning if done properly. You might have a hard time sitting up in bed the next morning, which isn’t a bad thing. It is a good soreness.
Please feel free to contact me if you have questions on the mechanics of the exercise. I can describe it better for you. I would even be willing to come show you how to do the exercises in person as well. You can contact me through email at eric_walden@waldospersonaltraining.com or you call me at 765-404-7343.

Eric Walden has been my personal trainer for the past 9 months. I had trained with a personal trainer for 2 years a decade ago, but since then weight lifted about twice weekly by myself. Last year I decided to hire Eric to train my son Brendan twice weekly for football. He has done a tremendous job with his strength and conditioning/speed. When Brendan had football practices every weekday last Fall, I decided to train with Eric because I was very impressed with Eric’s hard work and excellent results with Brendan. I wanted to challenge my body and muscles by varying my usual routine. Since working with Eric ½ hour twice weekly, my strength and tone all over have tremendously increased. I really enjoy being stronger for my posture, feeling about my body, and all my activities. Eric is so talented in utilizing varied methods of exercise to achieve results in overall strength, tone, core, and weight loss.
Eric is available to train clients in their homes (and can bring needed weights, exercise ball, bose ball, elastic bands) or in his gym at his home in the Fishers area. He has packages for 30 or 60 minute sessions, or 30 or 60 minute buddy sessions. Eric also will do an individual assessment and provide 4 days of written exercises for $75.00. Please contact him by email (see above) or phone (765-404-7343) to significantly improve your health!
Dr. Lisa

Shepherding A Child’s Heart” by Tripp

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellsping of life.” Proverbs 4:23

This is the basis of this great book on parenting, which also helps you examine and work on your own heart. It teaches you how communication and discipline work together when parents love and guide (shepherd) wisely. Mr. Tripp states that if you only focus on behavior, you miss the heart. Straying behavior displays a straying heart. “Our kids are always serving something, either God or a substitute for God – an idol of the heart.” If the problem is the overflow of the heart, then the need for grace and Jesus is established. If we miss the heart, then we miss the glory of God. “One of the most important callings God has given parents is to display the greatness, goodness, and glory of the God for whom they are made.” Mr. Tripps’ prayer for us is expressed in King David’s Psalm 78, “that not only would you teach and model these truths for your children, but that even generations unborn would arise and teach them to their children, so they might put their hope in God.”

Introduction – Parents exercise their authority as God’s agents to direct their child on God’s behalf for their good, being true servants/authorities that lay down our lives – to empower our children to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God. “The central focus of parenting is the gospel, and our children need to understand not only “what” they did wrong but also the internal “why” they did it.” We can help our children see that God works from the inside out, and help them understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.

Getting to the Heart of the Behavior – “The behavior a person exhibits is an expression of the overflow of his heart – the basic issue is always what is going on in the heart. A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable. We must require proper behavior and help our children ask the questions that will expose the attitude of heart that has resulted in wrong behavior (for example, children fighting over a toy are both exhibiting a hardness of heart toward each other and selfishness). Unmasking your child’s sin/improper behavior, helps him understand his straying heart - leading to the cross and his/our need for forgiveness and our Savior.

Your Child’s Development: Shaping Influences – Shaping influences are the events and circumstances in a child’s developmental years that are catalysts for making him the person he is (structure of family life, family values, family roles, family response to failure, family history, family conflict resolution). Then the person he becomes is a product of his life experience and how he interacts with that experience.

Your Child’s Development: Godward Orientation – “Whatever the shaping influences of life, it is the child’s Godward orientation that determines his response to those shaping influences. The child is either worshiping and serving and growing in the understanding of the implications of who God is, or he is seeking to make sense of life without a relationship to God and worshiping idols.”

You’re in Charge – “Teach your children that God loves them so much that He gave them parents to be kind authorities to teach and lead them. It is God who is not being obeyed/honored when we as parents are disobeyed/not honored. We must insist that our children obey God, because obeying God is good and right.” We require obedience because God says we must. God has given us a duty to perform, so endorsement of our children is not necessary. Discipline is an expression of love – and are issues of character development and honoring God. We are God’s agent to show the need for God’s grace and forgiveness, and look to God for strength and wisdom in this task.
Mr Tripp recalls many conversations that went like this
Father: You didn’t obey Daddy, did you?
Child: No.
Father: Do you remember what God says Daddy must do if you disobey?
Child: Spank me?
Father: That’s right. I must spank you. If I don’t, then I would be disobeying God. You and I would both be wrong. That would not be good for you or me, would it?
Child: No. (a reluctant reply)
We must be humble and apologize and ask forgiveness when we sin against our children. Mr. Tripp states, “On many occasions I have had to seek forgiveness of my children for my anger or sinful response. I have had to say, ‘Son, I sinned against you. I spoke in unholy anger. I said thing I should not have said. I was wrong. God has given me a sacred task, and I have brought my unholy anger into this sacred mission. Please forgive me.’”

Examining Your Goals – Our goal is to lead our child to God (and not to his own resources) and to obey and perform for God’s approval (not for approval from the parent or others) – to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. If you teach your child to use their abilities and talents to make their lives better without reference to God, we will turn him away from God.

Reworking Your Goals – “It is our task to faithfully teach our children the ways of God. It is the Holy Spirit’s task to work through the word of God to change their hearts.” Mr. Tripp states that reading the Proverbs (book of wisdom and encouragement) daily is of great benefit to children and adults. His practice was to read 1/3 of a chapter of Proverbs before school each day (and he would often act out passages in the Old Testament when his children were little). Encourage your children to see and help/minister in the needs of those around them and seek to make peace (Romans 12:17-21 teaches us that the only weapon strong enough to overcome evil is good, and to leave vengeance to God).

Discarding Unbiblical Methods – “I didn’t turn out so bad” (just repeating your parent’s good and bad parenting), pop psychology (motivating for money or things, contracts with parents), behavior modification (heart is trained to greedy self-interest and obtaining rewards), emotionalism (shaming, fear of being left alone or isolated – child may develop lifelong desire to please parents or rebellious), punitive correction (hitting, yelling, grounding – to keep child under control through the negative experience of punishment and does not require ongoing interaction or discussion), erratic eclecticism (no consistency and just skips around to different methods of parenting). For example, it is not productive long term to respond to siblings yelling by yelling at them to stop yelling. Rather you need to address the heart issues of anger and bitterness in their hearts. When “experts” tell you that you must find what works with each child, they are saying you must find the idols of the heart that will move each child – we do not want to drive our children to idols, but to the gospel message and Christ! The gospel speaks to people as broken, fallen sinners who are in need of a new heart. God has given us his Son to make us new creatures - gives us open-heart surgery to produce change from the inside out, not a face lift.

Embracing Biblical Methods: Communication – Rich full communication takes time and is a dialogue focused on understanding, not a monologue. Communication is the expression of ideas with words, and we must be good listeners first to be able to draw out our children’s ideas and help them understand themselves, the world, and who God intends them to be. So if/when there is bad behavior, we can draw out the heart and lead them to Christ’s grace and redemption (for example in seeking to draw out the internal conflict of hitting a sibling – ask what were they thinking? What feeling? How did hitting make it better or worse? What else could they have done? How did it trust in or not trust in God?).

Embracing Biblical Methods: The Many Types of Communication – Encouragement (find courage, hope, and inspiration from God), Correction (insight into what was done wrong and what may be done to correct the problem), Rebuke (censures behavior), Entreaty (earnest pleading for his child to act in wisdom and faith), Instruction (providing a lesson to understand their world and the ways of God), Warning (alerts us to danger while there is still time to escape unharmed), Teaching (actively imparting knowledge), Prayer (hearing our children praying and us praying communicates our faith in God to our children)

Embracing Biblical Methods: A Life of Communication – “The wise parent talks when the kids are ready to talk, and is first a good listener. Insightful and penetrating conversations take time, and you must regard parenting as one of your most important tasks while you have children at home. Admit when you are wrong/have sinned/weaknesses, and be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a life of repentance and thankfulness.”

Embracing Biblical Methods: The Rod – Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” The fool is one who will not submit to authority or God, but is driven by his wants and passions. Proverbs 23:14 “Punish a child with the rod (spanking) and save his soul from death.” The rod = spanking is to be done by parents, an act of faith in God’s wisdom, an act of faithfulness toward a child, is a responsibility by parents obeying God, is a careful and controlled use of physical punishment, and is a rescue mission (failure to obey Mom or Dad is a failure to obey God and to persist in this disobedience to God places the child at great risk). Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” The rod(spanking) returns the child to a place of blessing. Parents need both the communication and the rod methods given by God to work together for childrearing.

Embracing Biblical Methods: Appeal to the Conscience – “Your child has a God-given conscience which is our ally in discipline and correction. The child’s conscience must be instructed with the truth of God and His ways. The central focus of childrearing is to bring children to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners and understand the mercy of God, who offered Christ as a sacrifice for sinners. You accomplish this by addressing the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience as the God-given judge of right and wrong. Jesus’ redemptive work entails forgiveness, internal transformation, and empowerment to live new lives.”

Infancy to Childhood: Training Objectives – A child must learn that he is an individual under authority. He has been made by and for God and has responsibility to honor and obey God in all things. Ephesians 6:1 “Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Children must be taught that they can stay within God’s circle of blessing and safety by honoring and obeying and submitting to their parents, and the function of communication and the rod is to rescue them from their disobedience back into God’s blessing. Obedience is willing submission of one person to the authority of another (and often means doing something that we do not want to do). A child must be taught to do what he is told – without challenge, without excuse, and without delay. You can teach them to make an appeal, but only when they – begin to obey immediately (not after an appeal), be prepared to obey either way, appeal in a respectful manner, and accept the result of the appeal with a gracious spirit. Knowing our native resistance to authority (selfishness) and inability to always do what God has commanded, we are confronted with our need for the grace and power of Jesus Christ. Training our children to do what they ought, regardless of how they feel, prepares them to be a person who lives by principle rather than mood or impulse. Genuine submission to Godly authority bears good fruit.

Infancy to Childhood: Training Procedures – Consistency is mandated if our children are to learn that God requires obedience (we cannot become lax). “The ‘when’ of spanking is so simple that parents miss it. If your child has not obeyed, he needs to be spanked. If he has failed to respond to your direction, he has moved out of the circle of safety. If you accept challenge, delay, or excuses, you are not training in submission. You are, rather, training your children how to manipulate authorities and live on the ragged edge of disobedience. Your children must understand that when you speak for the first time, you have spoken for the last time.”






The How of Spanking – take your child to a private place, tell him specifically what he has done wrong, get him to acknowledge what he has done wrong, remind him of the function of spanking (to restore him to God’s blessing), tell him how many swats he will receive, remove his pants so the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants, after you have spanked him take him up onto your lap and hug him (and tell him how much you love him, it grieves you to spank him, and you hope it will not be necessary again = restoration and no carryover), pray with him (Christ’s forgiveness, and Christ can empower and enable him to obey in the future)
The Why of Spanking – Discipline addresses the heart, which is the battleground. The spanking comes only because it is God’s method of driving foolishness far from your child’s heart. Read the book to find out the answers to – what is a spanking issue? When is my child old enough? When is my child an I use time-out instead of spanking? (Mr. Tripp states we do not have the right to substitute what God has commanded with the popular ideas of culture.) What if my child says he did not hear me? Will I be spanking all the time? What if I am too mad? What if we are not at home? What if I know my child is lying? What if I am not sure what happened? What if it is too late?

Childhood: Training Objectives (ages 5-12) – The big issue during these middle years is developing Godly character. You want your child to learn dependability, honesty, kindness, consideration, helpfulness, diligence, loyalty, humility, self-control, moral purity, thankfulness, and a host of other character qualities. You need to review and help your child and his relationship with God, with himself, and with others. “The alternative to addressing character issues in your children is to structure things around rules. You the produce children who learn to keep rules, and become smug and self-righteous. They become modern Pharisees whose cup is washed and clean on the outside, but is filthy on the inside.”

Childhood: Training Procedures – addressing the heart (the when, what, and why), appealing to the conscience (what is right and get to the root issues and sinfulness), developing character (living consistently with who God is and who I am – if you don’t call him to be what God has called him to be, you end up giving him a standard of performance that is within the realm of his native abilities apart from grace and then you reduce his need for God), interpreting behavior in character terms (daily proverb reading helps with this), and a long range life-time vision

Teenagers: Training Objectives – The teen years are years of monumental insecurity and often years of rebellion. While his need for direction has never been greater, the teen will resist overt attempts to corral him. Proverbs 1 provides us with the three foundations for life we need to teach and model for our children – fear of the Lord (rather than the fear of man – true freedom is found in a holy indifference to the opinion of others/peer pressure and instead being God-centered), adherence to parental instruction (as trusted guides and people of integrity who are living daily life in the rich truth of the word of God, and family worship addressing the interests and need of the teens), and dissociation from the wicked (the most powerful way to keep your children from being attracted by the offers of camaraderie from the wicked is to make home an attractive place to be)

Teenagers:Training Procedures – Internalization of the gospel (the process of your children embracing the things of God as their own living faith and developing autonomous identities as persons under God – requires the work of the Holy Spirit in your child), Shepherding the Internalization of the Gospel (appealing to the conscience, focusing on character issues in correction and discipline, addressing the heart as the spring of life, and refusing to give them a keepable standard that would eliminate their need for Christ), Developing a Shepherding Relationship With Teens (authority vs. influence, shepherding through doubt, positive interaction, developing an adult relationship, waiting for the right time, deal with broad themes, allowing room for disagreement, beyond internalization, entrusting your children to God)


ORANGE GLAZED SALMON , by Judy

I am not a fan of salmon but as I usually do, I test my recipes before they are printed. As it was simple to prepare for my dinner guests, one of whom was a salmon aficionado, I finally tasted this dish and was won over. Hope you enjoy it.

Ingredients

2 boneless, skinless, fresh salmon fillets(6 oz)

4 tbsp McCormick's Salmon seasoning

2 teaspoons brown sugar

Pinch of Kosher salt

1 tablespoon oil (or more if needed)

1 12 oz jar orange marmalade

2 tsp lime juice

Combine:Salmon spice, brown sugar and salt in a small bowl. Rub mixture over salmon fillets and marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours, covered. Wash hands thoroughly. Saute fillets in oil in a large non-stick pan over medium high heat for 3-4 minutes. Carefully turn fish and saute another 2-3 minutes. Meanwhile, in a small pan blend marmalade and lime juice in a pan on medium heat until marmalade is melted. Carefully spoon glaze over fish on all sides. Fish is done when it begins to flake when tested with a fork. Serve immediately. Enjoy

RASPBERRIES

Raspberries are available year round with some producing areas including California, Oregon, Washington, Canada and Chile.

Due to varietal differences, the appearance of red raspberries can vary from dull and dark to bright and shiny. Good quality raspberries should be dry, plump and firm. Avoid moldy, soft and leaky berries or berries that break apart easily. Berries may leak or begin to deteriorate if they are mishandled. so handle with care. Raspberries may decay if they are allowed to stand at room temperature. Keep raspberries properly refrigerated until ready to use. They are highly sensitive to freezing and will break down if exposed to even light freezing. They should be bought for immediate use only.

If raspberries are mashed, sugared and brought to a boil the resulting sauce keeps well. They are excellent to eat as is or added to ice cream, in cakes, tarts or as syrup for pancakes.Raspberry Salad Dressing: Puree 1/2 cup fresh raspberries in blender, strain through sieve and discard seeds. Whisk puree with 1/4 cup raspberry vinegar and 1/2 cup olive oil, season to taste with garlic salt , salt and pepper.

NUTRITIONAL VALUES

Serving size 1 cup full, calories 50, calories from fat 0.

Total fat 0 g, Cholesterol 0 g, Sodium 0 mg, Total Carbs 17 g, Dietary Fiber 8 g, Sugars 12 g, Protein 1 g, Vitamin A 0 %, Vitamin C 40%, Calcium 2%, Iron 2%.

With my hugs and prayers,
Dr. Lisa